Contemplating the future

So I wrote this a couple nights ago-
So I am still alive. Barely. I've been working nights all week, its been rough changing to nights but I made it. My SO left to basic this last week. so that sucks alot. Its hard to be away from the person i love the most for so long without talking...
I'm trying to figure out what it is in life that i want. The older i get the more it changes and becomes more complex and unobtainable(or seems to be). I mean really. Anyplans i have ever had have rarely fallen through so what makes me think that having this bright, grand future is actually going to happen? I can't even see myself next week much less 15 years from now. AND! I have been thinking. I know i used to be so naive, and many would say, who know me best, that i am still very much that way. i know i have come a long ways. But i was thinking that maybe being naive is the best way to go. now i know this is wrong but(from the view of the weathered), sometimes it would be better to not know all the awful things people do, or being inside some ones head. or rather thinking that you are. It seems that maybe the more naive you are the brighter your hopes are, and the more drive you possess because in your mind there is little in the way of stopping you. but it always turns out that we get stopped dead in our tracks. So what is the possibility that i can actually build my own house, retire in montana with some sort of job i actually like, get married(ugh), have kids and have a happy little life? Id like to say likely but wtf. I am being super negatron right now. I wish the stories in the movies actually happened to us; winning the lottery, finding a blank check(and getting away), falling in love and staying in love, not having demon children. (those are just a few examples)
So I am just hoping for the best in life. I know i have a great partner who I know will help me through the tuff times in life. I really hope that it works about between us. I guess I think we both got lucky. I wasn't looking to date any one and here they go showing up in my life. Swept me right off my feet. But i guess all my hope is in that person. I know they are strong and have many plans for our life so! we can rely on eachother i know. Well i guess thats all i got right now!

Hello!

Howdy! This is my brand new blog spot. (thanks to Veronika Silly Sausage)
I think that I will probably post all truth on here- everything I feel so if you feel offended by the things that I might say, get the fuck off my blog(but before you do, call me out on it). (and god knows i will probably step on some toes so. get used to it) Right now I am in the process of finding myself, truth and choosing the path i want to follow for awhile. I'm contemplating religion, politics, love, relationships, peoples behavior and all sorts of fun shit. So welcome! Please keep all limbs in the blog for the duration of the ride, HOLD ON!
PS
I thought id let you know a little about myself as well. I'm a 22 year old female who is serving her first two years in the Airforce in Germany. I am enjoying germany so far, except it is hard to be away from my loved ones and my SO(Significant other) The beer, food and people here are tastey and nice, respectively. I'm hoping to be partially fluent in german before i leave here but we will see how far that goes. I am currently in a relationship, unfortunately long distant right now. We are hoping that will change within the next few months but only time will tell if my SO gets stationed near me. I sure hope so. I guess thats it for now!